Hostel Blues

      HOSTEL BLUES(SUICIDAL TENDENCIES) 

          Confusion is a state of mind. Good and bad are defined by individual orientation. Apart from the glaringly obvious like murder and other associated crimes, there is a very big world of grey out there. Ambiguity. The constitution of man is imperfect and constantly evolving because man, the originator of the constitution is like a reed, swaying in the wind...
       
        I love Fridays. It doesn't matter why anyone else loves Fridays. The glitz that accompanies the weekend opener. TGIF. I have only one lecture to attend, and attendance isn't compulsory so... TGIF.
       There are few things more annoying than a mosquito that thinks he is Beethoven. No matter how many times, you try to brush it away(I don't believe in killing things), It always comes back humming that symphony that it has composed during its many blood sucking flights... My neighbour's chinko phone just sounds like a mosquito about to hit paydirt. And he's blasting away... Dude is probably sleeping but I can hear through the thin plywood separating our rooms. That chinko phone! I wish... 

       Knock.
       "Who be that?"  I said in my best pidgin.
       "Bayo, na me, Abraham."
      
        *That guy! That doesn't return whatever he borrows...* I hissed jejely. I stood up from my bed. The bed often reminds me of the seventy naira bread that got sat on by Iya Akpati. This guy has never come giving before... Collect, collect, collect... And never return. Chai! God knows what he has come for again. I quickly kept the sachet tomato I left near the cooker in the corner.
          
         "I dey come, abeg."

          I opened the door. The version of Abraham I saw wasn't the one I was expecting to see. Frankly, the one I have never seen. Abraham looked like the soldier that won the lots cast for Jesus clothes- He looked haggard. It wasn't his dressing or something you could see, but you could tell he was... empty.

       "Guy, wetin happen?" I asked, trying to make my concern more genuine than it really was.
       "Na Amarachi oh... She sey she no do again." A solitary tear ran down from Abraham's red left eye. It was pretty obvious the dude had been crying. A lot.
      *Wetin you come want make I do? Wetin be my own?*
      It was hilarious. I just tried my best to keep a straight face. Anybody with sense did not need a soothsayer or doomsayer to tell him Amarachi was a runs girl. Abraham was one of hundreds of hostel mates. I wasn't under any obligation to give him relationship advice. The only thing I was concerned about was his consistent begging... Totally vexing issue... It is no wonder. I am sure Amarachi would have miked him dry.
      *It's not my business* I offered him a piece of tissue paper. He collected it shamefacedly. His coming to me meant one thing, he had no real friends he could talk to. A very sad thing it is, to have many friends you can't open up to.

       "Wetin happen gan gan" I asked, pity permeating my tone. I offered him my loyal plastic chair with three good legs and a "superglued" leg. Thanks to my fat friend Taiwo. Abraham tried to pull himself together. Another tear rolled down. He responded by cleaning it up with alacrity. I pretended not to notice the tears or mention them so as not to wound his ego.

       "She sent me a text. She said the relationship wasn't working. How could she do this to me?"  He looked totally lost and helpless. I was lost too. What could I do or say to make him feel better? I was inexperienced in such matters...

       "Bro, you gats calm down, it is not the end of the world."
       "Bayo, you no fit understand... That babe f*ck up... I like am pass wetin e do." Another tear.
       "Pull yourself together. You be man. Na to move forward be the koko".
       "You no fit understand." Abraham stood up. I knew he was making for the door. A part of me wanted to detain him and glean more info from him. Most of me wanted him gone. Away with his wahala jare. Wetin be my business? Let me fulfill all righteousness...
        "Shey you go chop something?" I crossed my fingers...
        "No jare, I wan go sleep". Abraham walked to the door and hesitated. *What is he waiting for?* I heaved a sign of relief as he closed the door behind him.

         Na wa for people oh... The only thing they bring to you is problems... Nobody has ever called me to come and share in what they brought from home. Nobody has ever offered me money before. But when they enter kasala, they will come to my room to vent their entire family history. Why me? Abraham had other friends he could have cried to, why come to my place? All this yeye friendships sef... Your friends are not your confidants. Your confidants are not your friends. Na wa oh...

          Game of Thrones on point... I have to finish this season five. Today na today... Chai... They have killed Jon Snow! Did HBO have to kill him? Mtcheew.

        *Knock*
        *Who is this one again?*

         Before I could answer, Wasiu burst in. Wasiu is the lord of information, radio without battery, internet without ISP. He knows what is going on inside the VC's office. He definitely had some news to share...

       "Person don drink Izal!" Wasiu burst, his face radiating as if he knew the answer to the ten million naira question on "Who wants to be a millionaire?".
       "For where?" I asked with some concern that translated from watching Jon Snow get killed.
        "Our hostel na... Things dey happen for this Nuccy oh. Them don carry the guy go Health Centre. Dem talk sey the guy don die sef. I never see am sha." Wasiu sat down on my three and a half legged plastic chair and helped himself to the sachet water beside it. He heaved a sigh, as if the sachet water was the reward for the information.

        "Na who drink Izal?" For some reason, I felt I knew the reason why that particular answer was of interest to me.
        "One guy like this. I no too sabi the guy." Wasiu had his brows knitted now. He hated to admit he didn't know something.
        "Which room e dey stay?" My heartbeat was audible now.
        "Na the other side e dey stay, I no too sabi am." He was in deep thought now...

       *silence*
        "You sabi Seyi?" Wasiu asked.
        "I no sabi am."
    
       "Shey you sabi Amarachi?"
        I closed my laptop.
        "Wetin do am?" My heart was in my mouth now.
   
        "Na because of Amarachi na him the guy drink Izal."

        My heart stopped. A lot of things went through my mind. Abraham! The guy has taken poison because of a girl... Its all my fault. If only I had listened to him, counselled him a bit more. He had come with a problem to share, and I had turned him away...

        Wasiu had already gone. He had fulfilled his mission of spreading the word. I quickly put on my shirt... Abraham... What sort of thing is this, that would drive a young man to commit suicide because of a woman? If only I had taken more time to speak to him... I gats talk to someone. I rushed downstairs...

       Students were gathered near the gate. My heart thumped five times for each step I took. They were obviously discussing the issue. My head was spinning and swaying. I moved closer to the small crowd to hear what they were saying. Some indigenes who sold wares near the hostel were there also. They were making various comments in Yoruba. They were cursing the foolish boy who committed suicide over a girl... Some phone junkies were discussing about Funaab juice's version of the story. All that was going through my mind was the fact that I could have done something to prevent what happened but I was too insensitive. A few minutes could have saved this guy's life. God led the guy to me and I disappointed him. A tear ran down my cheek. All because of my selfishness! I was too selfish to see what someone else was going through.

        Through my blurred vision, I could see my fellowship mates, Josh and Dapo, all prepared for fellowship with their bibles and notes in their hands. They were part of the small crowd discussing the unfortunate event. Josh must have noticed the tear on my cheek so he moved closer to me.

       "It is sad thing, what happened. It shouldn't have happened to someone with such a bright future. Did you know the guy personally?" He asked me.
       "A bit, he even came to me a few hours ago." My voice had acquired a slight tremor. I felt the urge to pee. My heart sank with each word. It was as if I murdered him myself.
       "That is strange, his friends said he locked himself up since morning and refused to answer their calls. They broke into his room this afternoon to find him unconscious. Their guess is that he had poisoned himself since morning. When they got to the health center, he was dead on arrival. That's what I heard. Are we talking about the same guy?" Josh raised an eyebrow, looking at me through his half moon spectacles.
      
       "Abraham came to me, just two hours ago..." I broke into tears.
       "Abraham? It is not Abraham that died oh... Who gave you that wrong information? Shey na Wasiu?" Josh looked at me funny.

       The sudden joy and relief I felt nearly killed me.

        

       I hate to admit it now, but I felt some sort of relief knowing someone else died in place of Abraham. I now know it is wrong. But I felt happier than Victor Oshimen ever was when he broke the U17 goal scoring record...
     
       I later learnt it was another guy who Amarachi was dating at the same time she was seeing Abraham that killed himself... She broke up with both of them simultaneously because she was now dating Ajanaku who was a bigger fish. I wouldn't have found respite so easily if it was Abraham who died.  I felt sorry for the guy who killed himself. I didn't really know him. It was a sad thing anyways.

       Whenever I see Abraham, I remember that everyone is a ticking bomb, waiting to go off. Do not mock people who are down for any reason. Always be a balm for your neighbour's wounds. Never ignore your neighbours call for assistance. In the end, it will only make life more fulfilling for you.

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