5 Methods You Can Use To Successfully Gain IT Placement

5 Methods You can use to Successfully Gain IT Placement.

5) Word Of Mouth.

                You have that neighbor/in-law/uncle/brother working in that firm, let them know you are interested in working there. It is very easy to let people who are close to you know that you are in need of placement. Besides, there is always someone that knows someone that knows someone.

 However, it is important you tell them early so they can put in word for you at the HR office.

 

4) LinkedIn

                You spend so much time on Instagram and you don’t have a linkedIn account? Seriously? LinkedIn helps you connect with people you would otherwise find it difficult to connect with. However, I must be evil if I do not tell you that most professionals would decline your request to connect, especially if you do not have robust connections. There is a way around it, If you ask Makavelli nicely, he just might tell you. 

It is a good idea to start building your linkedIn profile now. Click here

 

3) Don’t Miss That Owambe(Social Events)

                Meeting and introducing yourself to people can be a more laid back way to land that internship. This is easiest when you have a lot of functions to attend. Parties are my “go to” place for meeting people I wouldn’t have access to on a normal day. A party is a place where you could run into members of the upper echelons of the biggest firms in Nigeria. Three weeks ago, I had to go for a naming ceremony in my extended family. I was busy serving drinks when I heard that the ED(Executive Director) of one of the top banks in Nigeria was there. As a sharp guy, I had to famz the man sharp sharp! The rest, they say, is history.

Advice: If you jam Dangote for Party, no allow fear cripple you. Fortune favours the bold.

 

2) Direct Contact

                I did this at GTB Sango. I was making a Remita payment on behalf of someone when I decided to use the opportunity to make enquiries about applying for an internship there. It was easier getting information from an insider. Compare that with the information glut online.

You can walk up to that place to inquire, if it doesn’t take much of your time.

 

1)Godwin Style

                This is for those that apply for Shell and Chevron Internships where you have to take tests and go through a lot of bureaucratic brouhaha. If them choose you, na Godwin!

 

Are there any more methods we didn't mention? Let us know in the comment box.

 click below to read the following

>>Types of girls in Funaab

Secrets to make your CGPA rise like Ijebu Garri

The most difficult departments in Funaab 

Kinds Of Gangs That Boys Belong To In Funaab

Types of girls in Funaab.

Types of girls in Funaab

1) The churchy girl.
            This is the female counterpart of the Pastor Gang. This set of girls will be found in every worship/praise service. They can miss lectures because of a prayer meeting. You will see them crying during worship and their idea of purpose is becoming a pastor's wife. They are usually choristers or ushers in the fellowships.

You know that girl that told you Jesus is her Boyfriend...

 

2) The Alhajas.

             These girls are always covered in the hijab. They do not shake hands with guys... They don't hug, chai!  But they can be very surprising. Do not let their conservative fashion sense fool you. They are very enlightened and intelligent. Do not judge a book by its cover.

You know that girl that is claiming feminist and wants to marry an Alhaji.

3) The donor.
             These kinds of girls have been used to mark register. These girls have donated their bodies to further the course of sex education of the boys on campus. Their body count is in tens. Some call them runs girls, some call them olosho. My name is Makavelli, I don't judge the lifestyle choices of others.

You know that girl that everyone you know has slept with...

4) The Juliet.
                This kind of girl is usually drunk in love, probably has a cheating and abusive boyfriend and still clings to him. They can and will do anything for love. Some of them are lucky to have their love reciprocated. But unfortunately for some, all the cooking, washing and bedwarming eventually goes down the drain.

You know that girl that keeps saying her boyfriend has changed...

5) The Runway Model.
               This kind of girl doesn't hold anything back when it comes to fashion. The bulk of their pocket money goes to looking good. She usually ends up living on the generosity of her friends. It is unfortunate that some of these girls come from poor backgrounds and they have to do some crazy things to support their lifestyles.
               

You know the girl who rocks louboutin and struggles to pay for a N500 manual?

6) Bookie.
          This kind of girl is always reading her books. She doesn't attend parties or events. She may/may not have a boyfriend, but she is focused on her reason for coming to school.

You know that girl reading next semester's handout...

Girls, where do you belong?

Secrets To Make Your GP Rise Like Ijebu Garri.

                        Secrets to make you CGPA swell like Ijebu Garri.

       So, the semester results are out and you aren't impressed with your performance? Was it abysmal?  Is your CGPA below your expectations? Are you worried you might not make that grade you want to graduate with? The following secrets are not so secret. They are things you need to do to improve your performance.

1) Admit it was your fault. 

         Don't blame the lecturer. There is no time to be wasted cursing and hating the lecturer. The only way to go is forward, and the only way you can go forward is if you accept that you are responsible for your performance.

2) Stay positive
         After accepting your faults, you need to have a positive outlook. You don't need to put yourself down or beat yourself up for it. What is done, is done! The only way to go is forward and things can only get better. Remember, he that is down need fear no fall.

3) Change your friends.
           Not all of them. Some of them. You want to be a CGPA champ, you can't keep hanging out with people that are not sharing your hunger for a better CGPA. They will only pull you down if you let them. Having negative or retrogressive friends will be detrimental to the growth of your CGPA.

4) Change your study style.
           Obviously, your studying skills have not been working. You need to change them. You cannot keep doing the same thing and expect different results. Ko le werk!

5) Self control: You are the master of yourself.
             This involves time management and self denial. You are selling your soul to get a good CGPA, you might as well learn how to be a master of yourself. Devote a great percent of your time to studying. Cut the movies, cut the games, cut the gossip. Focus and see what you can achieve.

6) Know your lecturers.
              They don't need to know you, but knowing them makes the studying process easier for you: You'll know what to read! Knowing how your lecturer thinks will go a long way to help you prepare for any form of assessment.
               Knowing them will let you know the right thing to answer when a question is ambiguous. Knowing your lecturer gives you an edge.

7) God/Higher Power/Force/Allah.
                There is a difference between a person that does not have God and one that does not. The confidence exuded by these people that have God is different from the jitters and uncertainty of those that don't have. It is an insurance policy, that you have someone to speak for you when you are not there. Knowing you have access to the supernatural is a good confidence boost.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun, far from it. All I'm saying is good time management and good studying skills will go a long way.

Visit funaabstory.blogspot.com

Kinds Of Gangs That Boys Belong To In Funaab

>>Types Of Girls In Funaab>>

Kinds of Gangs Boys Belong To  In Funaab.

            University education is not strictly academic. There are various kinds of "gangs"(which in this context refers to classification of types of boys that will be found in a university, that hang out together).

            You dey university abi? You haf join gang!

 

1) The Pastor Gang.

            Virtually every funaabite has a classmate in this gang. These are the "spiri koko" guys. If they are not in class, they are at the fellowship. Heck, they can even miss lectures to attend a prayer meeting. They are known for their "holy" lifestyle and praying everywhere. You will even hear them speaking in tongues on the road.

You know that guy that always tells you that God told him something? He's a member of the pastor gang.

2) The Alfa Gang.

            Whenever you ask these guys "Where are you coming from?", you can only get two answers: Mosque and school. You easily recognise them by their trousers. The hem of the trouser is always keeping malice with the ankle.
Some of them are bearded and the ones that are smooth, well. You need to see them on Fridays with their flowing Jalabiyas. They are usually found in groups discussing the hadiths of the Prophet.

You know that guy that said shaking girls is Haram? He belongs to the Alfa gang.

3) The Addict Gang.

               Name it, codeine, skunk, weed, cigarette, and other hard drugs. This set of boys have only one mission: to get high. The school hostel has produced many legendary addicts and so hostels that I must not name... You can see them walking in groups usually arguing over a stupid topic such as "Nicki minaj is better than Beyonce" or "Small doctor can sing better than 2face". They have the loudest voices, and they like to make noise.

You know that guy that has perpetually red eyes? He belongs to this gang

4) The Bang Gang.

                These are the set of sex conquistadors. They have passed girls around and have slept with every girl willing. They have "marked register". Some members of this gang have also "conquered" the indigenes of Alabata... Kofesu boys, I hail. These guys can be found everywhere and they know themselves. They know who has "banged" who, and who is about banging who.

You know that guy that has banged half of the chicks you know? He belongs to the bang gang.

5) The Outlier Gang.

                 These guys are the "most likely to succeed" set of dudes. They know what they want to do and they have already set out to achieve it. These set of people are outstanding in what they do. People in the university community know and respect them.

You know that guy that can sell sawdust to  a sawmill? He's an outlier.

6) The Great Gatsby Gang.

                  These are the set of guys that enjoy university. They play, party and womanize, yet it doesn't affect their academics. These set of boys are usually talented and know a little of everything. These guys are everywhere and they are well liked.

There is always that unserious friend you have that does well in exams. That's Great Gatsby.

7) The Brownian Motion Gang.

                     These set of boys do not know the reason why they are in school, hence the name Brownian motion. No focus, they just move haphazardly. They miss classes, it is their default state. They are the type of guys that will come to exam venue 30 minutes late and be claiming to know their rights.

You know that guy that had 1.00 CGPA in your department, it is very likely he is a member of this gang.

8) The Reader Gang.

                  These ones took the "read your books" part very seriously. I know of a guy who even reads on the toilet(go figure). There are some guys that start night class from beginning of the semester. Some of them are library regulars; these guys set a personal reading time table and follow it. These guys can read for Africa. They will never involve themselves in an activity that doesn't have an academic value.

You know this guy? He's a member of the Reader Gang!

Oya, which gang do you belong to?

click below for similar articles.

>>Types Of Girls In Funaab>>

>>Secrets To Make Your CGPA Rise Like Ijebu Garri>>

The Most Difficult Departments In Funaab

The Most Difficult Departments in Funaab.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this article was collected from some interviews. It is very likely that you will disagree with this. It is not the intention of the writer to force his opinion on you, neither are you under any form of obligation to take the article as gospel.

7) Department of Food Science &Technology.(COLFHEC)
           Lots of borrowed course from lots of colleges... That's what students from this department endure. Sad and pathetic.

No verdict.

6)Department of Statistics(COLPHYS)

            I don't know how students in this department cope, given my experience in the STS221 course, but I'm sure they must have developed an indifference to the whole thing. The lecturer taught and examined off point. Imagine every lecturer like that. Doing tons of proof and shit.

Verdict: Being a student of STS dept is a spiritual experience.

5)Department of Physics (COLPHYS)

           There is a particular course where you prove more than 200 formulae! How's that for difficult? Their curriculum is a blend of proofs and proofs. And bogus calculations.

Verdict: It is sad that there are some physics students who do not know who Stephen Hawking is. Some haven't even heard of string theory! Talk about misplaced priorities on the side of the curriculum.

4) Departments in the College of Engineering.

         The engineering courses can't be left out from this kind of list. Need I say more??? Its engineering for Christ sakes! They just have to be up and doing plus the fact that they have shorter vacations compared to the rest of the school due to their practicals and projects.

Verdict: It is just unfair that there are more engineers compared to jobs. After all that stuff?

3) Department of Veterinary Medicine.

           The way the students of this department read... Fear go catch you. The recommended textbooks are usually thousands of pages long and attendance is taken serious. The students of this department are always reading(the serious ones). They go through almost the same rigors as medical students, only with relatively poorer prospects. Six years no be beans. How's that for difficult?

Verdict: Graduates of this dept should be given the READER title.
          

2) Department of Computer Science. (COLPHYS)

           The position of this department on this list would be a source of criticism from those who have been fortunate to take general computer science courses. The students of this department are expected to acquire professional skills alongside fulfilling all righteousness in a curriculum that knows no chill. A math dominated curriculum. Tell that to all Math lecturers who think Computer Science students are just so lazy... The lowest amount of units per semester is 23... How far na?

Verdict: It takes someone that has "chest" to be a CSC student.

1) Department of Mathematics. (COLPHYS)

           This is an undisputed fact and by unanimous vote. I do not envy students of this department. The Mathematics department is known for their strict lecturers and heavy workload. Even students who do not belong to this department can agree because all science students in Funaab take at least two Mathematical Courses and it isn't a secret that the carry over rate is chilling.
             The Mathematics department also boasts of the most dreaded Professor Agboola. It is not a child's play. This is a professor that said, "People work hard to score zero".

Verdict: Graduates of MTS dept should be given a free ticket to heaven, for they have endured the great tribulation.

Ten Things you need to be a Funaab Big Boy.

Ten things you need to be a Funaab Big Boy

10)Bling
          This is the most traditional of all big boy paraphernalia. One real being is sufficient, but a minimum of two distinct pieces of going is advised.

9) Body Language/Composure
         If you are a pretender, people will know! To be a true big boy, you must convince yourself that you truly are a big boy. You posture, you strut, your mannerism must fit the idea.

8) Designer Everything
         Big boys stay away from nameless pieces of fashion. How can a big boy explain that his trouser was sewn by Baba Biliki?

7). Eat out
           True Big Boys rarely cook! They eat out. As a big boy, you should frequent Madam Spicey so much that she knows your name. Even when you eat at home, it should be cooked by one of your numerous girlfriends.

6). Stab classes
            Simply put, big boys rarely attend classes. And when they do, they are never found in the front. The big boys are the back benchers, they observe everyone else. Its a psychological thing seeing everybody even though everybody ain't seeing you.

5)  Attitude
             To be a Funaab Big Boy, you need attitude. You need a presence that must be felt whenever you are around. You need to develop that "I don't care" personality. Girls love it.

4). A dope hostel
             Big boys don't stay in Miracle Lodge. Big boys stay at Sonikas, Bahamas, Achievers, Rochester, Okio, Elyon, South Hall. Big boys don't stay in nameless hostels. Big boys stay in furnished hostels with dope interior decor.

3). Fresh face
             You can't claim to be a big boy looking like person wey neva chop(like me). You really have to invest in skin care... How fresh you look speaks a lot.

2). Dope friends
             You can't be a big boy with small boys in your squad. You gotta surround yourself with other big boys. Form a pack, be the Alpha if possible. The big boy imagery is never complete without other big boys somewhere in the picture.

1). Mad ride.
            This tops the list. The fact that you have a car and can maintain it speaks a lot about the scale of your finances. Having a mad ride would nail the coffin over any dispute to your claim of big boyism. Girls love guys that have cars. Boys respect and envy guys that have what they don't. You got it all bro, respect+envy+love.

Hostel Blues

      HOSTEL BLUES(SUICIDAL TENDENCIES) 

          Confusion is a state of mind. Good and bad are defined by individual orientation. Apart from the glaringly obvious like murder and other associated crimes, there is a very big world of grey out there. Ambiguity. The constitution of man is imperfect and constantly evolving because man, the originator of the constitution is like a reed, swaying in the wind...
       
        I love Fridays. It doesn't matter why anyone else loves Fridays. The glitz that accompanies the weekend opener. TGIF. I have only one lecture to attend, and attendance isn't compulsory so... TGIF.
       There are few things more annoying than a mosquito that thinks he is Beethoven. No matter how many times, you try to brush it away(I don't believe in killing things), It always comes back humming that symphony that it has composed during its many blood sucking flights... My neighbour's chinko phone just sounds like a mosquito about to hit paydirt. And he's blasting away... Dude is probably sleeping but I can hear through the thin plywood separating our rooms. That chinko phone! I wish... 

       Knock.
       "Who be that?"  I said in my best pidgin.
       "Bayo, na me, Abraham."
      
        *That guy! That doesn't return whatever he borrows...* I hissed jejely. I stood up from my bed. The bed often reminds me of the seventy naira bread that got sat on by Iya Akpati. This guy has never come giving before... Collect, collect, collect... And never return. Chai! God knows what he has come for again. I quickly kept the sachet tomato I left near the cooker in the corner.
          
         "I dey come, abeg."

          I opened the door. The version of Abraham I saw wasn't the one I was expecting to see. Frankly, the one I have never seen. Abraham looked like the soldier that won the lots cast for Jesus clothes- He looked haggard. It wasn't his dressing or something you could see, but you could tell he was... empty.

       "Guy, wetin happen?" I asked, trying to make my concern more genuine than it really was.
       "Na Amarachi oh... She sey she no do again." A solitary tear ran down from Abraham's red left eye. It was pretty obvious the dude had been crying. A lot.
      *Wetin you come want make I do? Wetin be my own?*
      It was hilarious. I just tried my best to keep a straight face. Anybody with sense did not need a soothsayer or doomsayer to tell him Amarachi was a runs girl. Abraham was one of hundreds of hostel mates. I wasn't under any obligation to give him relationship advice. The only thing I was concerned about was his consistent begging... Totally vexing issue... It is no wonder. I am sure Amarachi would have miked him dry.
      *It's not my business* I offered him a piece of tissue paper. He collected it shamefacedly. His coming to me meant one thing, he had no real friends he could talk to. A very sad thing it is, to have many friends you can't open up to.

       "Wetin happen gan gan" I asked, pity permeating my tone. I offered him my loyal plastic chair with three good legs and a "superglued" leg. Thanks to my fat friend Taiwo. Abraham tried to pull himself together. Another tear rolled down. He responded by cleaning it up with alacrity. I pretended not to notice the tears or mention them so as not to wound his ego.

       "She sent me a text. She said the relationship wasn't working. How could she do this to me?"  He looked totally lost and helpless. I was lost too. What could I do or say to make him feel better? I was inexperienced in such matters...

       "Bro, you gats calm down, it is not the end of the world."
       "Bayo, you no fit understand... That babe f*ck up... I like am pass wetin e do." Another tear.
       "Pull yourself together. You be man. Na to move forward be the koko".
       "You no fit understand." Abraham stood up. I knew he was making for the door. A part of me wanted to detain him and glean more info from him. Most of me wanted him gone. Away with his wahala jare. Wetin be my business? Let me fulfill all righteousness...
        "Shey you go chop something?" I crossed my fingers...
        "No jare, I wan go sleep". Abraham walked to the door and hesitated. *What is he waiting for?* I heaved a sign of relief as he closed the door behind him.

         Na wa for people oh... The only thing they bring to you is problems... Nobody has ever called me to come and share in what they brought from home. Nobody has ever offered me money before. But when they enter kasala, they will come to my room to vent their entire family history. Why me? Abraham had other friends he could have cried to, why come to my place? All this yeye friendships sef... Your friends are not your confidants. Your confidants are not your friends. Na wa oh...

          Game of Thrones on point... I have to finish this season five. Today na today... Chai... They have killed Jon Snow! Did HBO have to kill him? Mtcheew.

        *Knock*
        *Who is this one again?*

         Before I could answer, Wasiu burst in. Wasiu is the lord of information, radio without battery, internet without ISP. He knows what is going on inside the VC's office. He definitely had some news to share...

       "Person don drink Izal!" Wasiu burst, his face radiating as if he knew the answer to the ten million naira question on "Who wants to be a millionaire?".
       "For where?" I asked with some concern that translated from watching Jon Snow get killed.
        "Our hostel na... Things dey happen for this Nuccy oh. Them don carry the guy go Health Centre. Dem talk sey the guy don die sef. I never see am sha." Wasiu sat down on my three and a half legged plastic chair and helped himself to the sachet water beside it. He heaved a sigh, as if the sachet water was the reward for the information.

        "Na who drink Izal?" For some reason, I felt I knew the reason why that particular answer was of interest to me.
        "One guy like this. I no too sabi the guy." Wasiu had his brows knitted now. He hated to admit he didn't know something.
        "Which room e dey stay?" My heartbeat was audible now.
        "Na the other side e dey stay, I no too sabi am." He was in deep thought now...

       *silence*
        "You sabi Seyi?" Wasiu asked.
        "I no sabi am."
    
       "Shey you sabi Amarachi?"
        I closed my laptop.
        "Wetin do am?" My heart was in my mouth now.
   
        "Na because of Amarachi na him the guy drink Izal."

        My heart stopped. A lot of things went through my mind. Abraham! The guy has taken poison because of a girl... Its all my fault. If only I had listened to him, counselled him a bit more. He had come with a problem to share, and I had turned him away...

        Wasiu had already gone. He had fulfilled his mission of spreading the word. I quickly put on my shirt... Abraham... What sort of thing is this, that would drive a young man to commit suicide because of a woman? If only I had taken more time to speak to him... I gats talk to someone. I rushed downstairs...

       Students were gathered near the gate. My heart thumped five times for each step I took. They were obviously discussing the issue. My head was spinning and swaying. I moved closer to the small crowd to hear what they were saying. Some indigenes who sold wares near the hostel were there also. They were making various comments in Yoruba. They were cursing the foolish boy who committed suicide over a girl... Some phone junkies were discussing about Funaab juice's version of the story. All that was going through my mind was the fact that I could have done something to prevent what happened but I was too insensitive. A few minutes could have saved this guy's life. God led the guy to me and I disappointed him. A tear ran down my cheek. All because of my selfishness! I was too selfish to see what someone else was going through.

        Through my blurred vision, I could see my fellowship mates, Josh and Dapo, all prepared for fellowship with their bibles and notes in their hands. They were part of the small crowd discussing the unfortunate event. Josh must have noticed the tear on my cheek so he moved closer to me.

       "It is sad thing, what happened. It shouldn't have happened to someone with such a bright future. Did you know the guy personally?" He asked me.
       "A bit, he even came to me a few hours ago." My voice had acquired a slight tremor. I felt the urge to pee. My heart sank with each word. It was as if I murdered him myself.
       "That is strange, his friends said he locked himself up since morning and refused to answer their calls. They broke into his room this afternoon to find him unconscious. Their guess is that he had poisoned himself since morning. When they got to the health center, he was dead on arrival. That's what I heard. Are we talking about the same guy?" Josh raised an eyebrow, looking at me through his half moon spectacles.
      
       "Abraham came to me, just two hours ago..." I broke into tears.
       "Abraham? It is not Abraham that died oh... Who gave you that wrong information? Shey na Wasiu?" Josh looked at me funny.

       The sudden joy and relief I felt nearly killed me.

        

       I hate to admit it now, but I felt some sort of relief knowing someone else died in place of Abraham. I now know it is wrong. But I felt happier than Victor Oshimen ever was when he broke the U17 goal scoring record...
     
       I later learnt it was another guy who Amarachi was dating at the same time she was seeing Abraham that killed himself... She broke up with both of them simultaneously because she was now dating Ajanaku who was a bigger fish. I wouldn't have found respite so easily if it was Abraham who died.  I felt sorry for the guy who killed himself. I didn't really know him. It was a sad thing anyways.

       Whenever I see Abraham, I remember that everyone is a ticking bomb, waiting to go off. Do not mock people who are down for any reason. Always be a balm for your neighbour's wounds. Never ignore your neighbours call for assistance. In the end, it will only make life more fulfilling for you.

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